rusrus.com . Fantasy Football . FF2k4 . Newsletters . Week 2

Big Russ Continues Cruise to Championship
"Victory again?!?" was the surprised exclamation overheard in the Big Russ Coaches Compound on Sunday night. Big Russ rolled-over The LZ Historians this weekend 89 to 65. Arch-historian, Greg Michels, could have eked closer to victory with the following substitutions:

J. Harrington <> M. Bulger (9 points)
T. Glenn <> D. Jackson (4 points)
Jacksonville D <> Washington D (12 points)
TOTAL = 25 points

But, how can you anticipate that? Anyway, the win vaults Big Russ to the top of the "challenged" Blue Division and dumps The LZ Historians into 2nd place (with Trunk Monkeys and Smokin' Bonecrushers).

In a side note: The LZ Historians will be the donor of the $5 "Super-Loser Penalty."

Long Eared Loungers: Cave Dwellers?
With another loss, the Long Eared Loungers might be thought of this season "basement team." But, in a press conference from oil field #467 in Oman, Long Eared Loungers owner, Tim Hinman, made his true intentions known. "Basements are musty. I want to be known as a cave dweller - like my ancestors."

Trunk Monkeys manhandled the Loungers in week 2: 99 to 67. Shawn Franz responded to the Loungers request, "I suppose there has to be an excuse for poor performance, living in a cave doesn't allow you the luxuries of newspapers and ESPN. Not to mention a shower and toilet - dirty bastard!"

In a side note: The Long Eared Loungers had the worst bench of the week: 20 points - shameful!

Boners Thrust Past G-Man in a Close One
The Smokin' Bonecrushers slid past G-Man's Army of Darkness last night in a one-point victory (79 to 78). Randy Moss' 12 MNF points was all Dave Wheeler needed to avoid an awkward kinship with the Blue Division last place Long Eared Loungers.

On the other hand, G-Man's Army of Darkness has certainly fallen from grace (if there ever was grace for G-Man). G-Man's week 2 loss pushes him further into the Orange Division hole. A negative performance from Deuce McAllister was to blame. Also, since McAllister will miss 4 to 5 weeks, there will be rekindled interest in Ki-Jana Carter (one of McAllister's replacements) - didn't that guy suck like 7 years ago? Running backs are certainly not something that improves with age...

Fast Eddie's Hired Goons Poisoned by Kobras
Down 30 points with Monday Night Football to go, Fast Eddie's Hired Goons put their week 2 fate (and First Place moniker) in Donovan McNabb. McNabb fought the valiant fight, but 30 points was a little too much for him. The Goons lost by 5 points. From the locker room, McNabb remarked, "Segreti's not paying me enough to get 30 points."

The Kama Sutra Kobras were solid in the 92 to 87 victory - all double-digit scoring except for Onterrio Smith. Kobras owner, Troy Snethen: "Yeah, it wasn't a 'Kobra' performance from Smith, but he'll be in jail soon, with plenty of time to think about the mistakes he has made - namely on the football field."

The Drunken Punks Take Advantage of Ball Busters
Many of The Ball Busters highest-scoring players were stuck on the bench. The Drunken Punks earned 106 points, and the week 2 $5 prize from solid performances from all Punk players - except Chad Johnson (4 lousy points). The Punks also claim solo 1st place in the more-challenging Orange Division.

The Ball Busters, on the other hand could have played Chris Brown or Corey Dillon instead of Priest Holmes. But, when you're stuck with 4 top-tier running backs, it's hard to know who to play week-to-week. That's why I recommend having two good running backs and two crap running backs. That way, you definitely know who's starting every week. Yes, when there's a bye week, you suffer, but you won't look like such a Segreti (playing the exact wrong player on your roster).

League News:
No news is good news.

If you'd like to submit an article for publication, let me know. The goal is for Tuesday morning release - so, get me your submissions before then.

Commish.