Still Kicking in Prestigious Lakewood
Standing toe-to-toe with Fast Eddie, I spit in his face. I am the master - you are the slave. Big Russ' Week 11 victory (required for advancement into the playoffs - with two additional victories) thundered through the Big Russ organization Sunday afternoon. The score was 105 to 87 - an empirical trouncing over the weaker Goon squad. Big Russ capitalized on a seemingly foolhardy loyalty to Muhsin Muhammad - 23 points in Week 11. "I had Muhsin a couple of years ago," explained Ruszkowski, "and he sucked. I'm happy he can finally contribute - especially against the dirty Italians."

Fast Eddie's Hired Goons failed to get momentum, even with the 30 point performance from Donovan McNabb. If only there were a few other 30 point performances (Clinton Portis: 3 points and Lee Suggs: 6 points).

Big Russ will aim at The Drunken Punks for the required Week 12 victory - Fast Eddie will slink towards LZ Historians and beg for mercy...

Long Eared Loungers Lose to Notorious Wheeler
In a game that ended much closer than expected Sunday, Long Eared Loungers lose to Wheeler by a mere 4 points. The Smokin' Bonecrushers Reuben Droughns stepped it up for 24 points in Week 11 - thus sealing the Wheeler victory. The rest of the Wheeler performances were nice, but Reuben's was the best.

Long Eared Loungers had a phenomenal day from the Tampa Bay defense: 32 points (nice). Another notable performance was Trent Green: 28 points. But it was all for naught. The result was a loss, and the end of an impressive streak of victories (3 in a row). Week 12 against the Kobras will be an unwelcome jolt back to reality - and the losing ways.

Kobras: Where's the Love?
I thought it was common knowledge that Big Russ needed three wins and three losses from either LZ Historians or Trunk Monkeys and one loss from Long Eared Loungers to enter the playoffs this year. Well, the other things all happened - Kobras, you dropped the ball! The Kobras lost to LZ Historians 99 to 110. In my opinion, it sucks. But, there was nothing the Kobras could do - have you seen that bench? 11 points. Suck!

LZ Historians got the high score of the week: 110. Choke on it! Nothing spectacular on the scoreboard - just a better performance, that's all. Don't let it go to your head. I can still beat you in week 14: that's the first round of the playoffs!

Lightening Can Strike Twice - Maybe Even Thrice
Ok, looking at the scoreboard yesterday morning, I was upset. The score of the unfinished Trunk Monkey - Ball Busters games was 76 to 41. I needed a Ball Buster victory, but how could I expect such a performance from Corey Dillon and Eddie Kennison. Well, it must have been that deal with the Devil - Rich, you can thank me now.

Apparently, Dillon and Kennison both had a wild hair up their asses, because the result was OUTSTANDING! 20 points from Dillon and 23 points from Kennison = enough to put The Ball Busters over the top of Trunk Monkeys and keep my hopes at playoffs alive. Thanks Rich - I think that's more points than either of those players has scored all year.

Shawn, on the other hand, was the loser. Not only the loser of the Week 11 game, but the loser of the $5 too. AND the loser of four straight games (plus two more, if I have my way). Your week 12 games is against G-Man. I predict good things for Torry Holt this weekend. He's always been there to screw me out of glory, now he can screw you too (if he isn't doing that already...)

Punks Bitch-Slapped by G-Man
The score: 98 to 88. G-Man outplayed the Drunken Punks in week 11. Nothing flash - just good ol' smashmouth football (so I'm told). Most of G-Man's players are not the types that are seen on TV, except in their home markets. Let's just hope you can put it together in Week 12, and help a brother out!

Roecker, this is your life: worst to first to worst - then jump off the bridge. You suck. What happened to the unstoppable juggernaut of FF2k3? I suppose 88 points is nice, but only if your opponent has less than 88. Next year I think we should do Fantasy Pop Warner football - that way you can get your "sea legs" again. Feel free to submit a lineup for my amusement in our pending battle. I'll use it as fodder and as material for my performance at your funeral. Thanks, in advance, for losing!

Games on Thursday - Don't forget to submit lineups!

 

week 11 newsletter
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