Big Russ: Feared Again!
In a strange twist of events, Big Russ ended-up with a week 7 victory (hooray). Big Russ’ 86 points was enough of a lift to boost Big Russ out of the league shitpile – that space now reserved exclusively for the Costco Shoppers.
All the celebration in the Big Russ team locker complex comes at the cost of one of us: Long Eared Loungers threw their proverbial body in-front of the bullet aimed directly at the heart of Big Russ. Thanks for taking one for the Commissioner. Now, get back to work in the rice paddy!

Drunken Punks Win Third Straight, Annoy Bookies
The Drunken Punks are on a roll – winning their third straight – and are seriously thinking about being taken seriously.
Being so close to Halloween, you would be excused in thinking that the smile on Roecker’s face these days was a costume. The thought of Roecker actually earning that smile might just be a little too much to handle, but it’s true... Rocker’s 90 points was a mystery – especially after last week’s score of 47. Also, way to dump Paul Edinger the week before his score of 29. Although, as an ex-Bear, you’re excused – any one of us would have done the same.
The Ball Busters blew a one-game winning streak with their week 7 score of 81 against the Teflon Punks. It’s either the “luck of the Roecker,” or the unluck of the Roecker opponent. Further review of the Ball Buster bench reveals that the savior was there, and his name is Larry Johnson. Better luck in week 8 when the Ball Busters face the surging Big Russ football organization!

Bonecrushers Win Convincingly (dammit)
When someone flies halfway around the world for a face-to-face beat-down, it’s usually a serious beat-down. Not, apparently, when the beat-down is to come from the fickle fingers of Franz.
Wheeler wins his fourth-straight game this week with plenty of points to spare on the bench. Is there anyone who can stop him? All signs point to “no.” Wheeler’s 103 points was also the week high score – that means $5 more dollars will be used to buy diapers and lottery tickets at the Buffalo Grove Cigarettes Cheaper store. The only good news – that $5 won’t be from Big Russ...
Shawn – how we thought we knew ye... The Baghdad Bombers, in town for an unrelated wedding, failed to impress during Sunday’s outing: 73 points. Apparently, the Bombers just don’t have the skills – there was no one on the bench who could have helped the Bombers. Apparently, they were born to lose this week... Look for a total reversal during an anticipated stomping of the Costco Shoppers in week 8!

Kissing Cousins? Not Anymore
As if the banquet bill weren’t enough, G-Man’s Army of Darkness added total annihilation to the list of this weekend’s liabilities for newlywed Jason Segreti.
G-Man’s margin of victory ensured that Fast Eddie’s Hired Goons know their place in the Christmas present opening order rotation: dead last – after Uncle Ernie and Aunt Bea (the one with the glass eye). G-Man destroyed this weekend with six (6) double-digit scores. That’s nice. Look to keep it up in week 8 against the Long Eared Loungers: they’re easier to beat than a fat lady in shackles.
Fast Eddie: what are we to make of this? Some would say, “Well, it was pre-wedding jitters.” Others might offer other excuses, but the rest of us know the truth: there has been a “pants-wearing” transition in the Segreti house. Most of us remember the Pant-wearing Segreti. Sadly, those days are gone. While her first showing was a loss, I’d expect big things from the new pant-wearing Segreti: let’s face it – she won’t have to try too hard to beat expectations...

Costco Shoppers: Racking-Up Huge Hospital Bills
Maybe they didn’t see it coming, but with so many players in the hospital how could you miss it?
The Kama Sutra Kobras took advantage of a boo-boo’ed Costco Shoppers in week 7: winning 93 to 68. Impressive Kobras include: LaMont Jordan and Mike Anderson (30 and 18 respectively). The next question might be, “What in the hell happened to that defense?” With such a chance at the league high score, a defense that loses 3 points isn’t going to help the cause. Maybe the return of the Panthers from the bye will help the cause against a vacation Fast Eddie in week 8. Then again, maybe not...
Costco Shoppers... Poor Costco Shoppers... Now I know why they have chapels in hospitals – it’s for you to pray that your non-injured players can win a game. After losing 4 straight, it might be time to make a deal or two. You know, after having to cough-up $5 a record four weeks in a row, I realized that it’s cheaper to get two new players ($4) than it is to have the weekly low score ($5). Now, I’m afraid that’s a lesson you’ll have to learn first-hand – because your score of 68 was the lowest of the week, and you will be the giver of the $5 this week (to your brother-in-law nonetheless).